It Should Have Been Me
by Jacqueline Francis
Catalina Diaz was my dream come true. Catalina Diaz was my future. Catalina Diaz promised me forever, and I was foolish enough to believe her. She lied. Forever, as it turns out, was just an infinite amount of happiness condensed into a very finite amount of time.
“I’ll be back in a year,” she told me before she boarded a plane, but that wasn’t true either. On the day she left, we didn’t realize that our paths were going to lead in two separate directions. The distance grew between us, and what we had slowly dissipated into something we couldn’t salvage. We both moved on, she found love again, and I accepted she was lost to me forever.
Well, I thought I accepted it…until I see her again.
Karma has always enjoyed messing with me, and this time is no exception. Her sister is getting married to my best friend and what better circumstance to run into my ex-fiancé again than at a wedding? Just one interaction and Catalina Diaz turns my whole life upside down. See, I still want her, but she’s happy with someone else. It’s painstakingly gruesome.
I keep telling myself that I just have to get through two weeks and then she’ll hop on a plane, and we can go our separate ways again. Just two weeks and then I can put all the memories of Catalina Diaz out of my mind for good. Easy, right? An infinite amount of torture condensed into a very finite amount of time. I’m sure I can do it.
Trigger warning: Contains cheating!
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Martial Peak Reviews
Jacqueline Francis's It Should Have Been Me is a poignant exploration of love, loss, and the complexities of rekindled emotions. The narrative centers around the protagonist's emotional turmoil upon re-encountering his former fiancée, Catalina Diaz, at a wedding—a setting that is both ironic and fitting for a story about love's enduring and often painful grip.
From the outset, the novel establishes a deeply personal and introspective tone. The protagonist's voice is raw and honest, capturing the reader's attention with his vulnerability. The opening lines of the blurb set the stage for a narrative that is as much about self-discovery as it is about romantic entanglement. The promise of "forever" that Catalina once made is a recurring motif, symbolizing the idealized vision of love that often clashes with reality.
Francis skillfully navigates the theme of time and its impact on relationships. The protagonist's reflection on the finite nature of happiness and the infinite torture of unresolved feelings is both relatable and heart-wrenching. This theme is further amplified by the setting of the wedding, a celebration of love that contrasts sharply with the protagonist's internal conflict. The juxtaposition of joy and sorrow is a testament to Francis's ability to weave complex emotional layers into her narrative.
The character development in It Should Have Been Me is nuanced and compelling. The protagonist is not merely a jilted lover; he is a man grappling with the remnants of a past that refuses to stay buried. His journey is one of acceptance and resilience, as he confronts the reality of Catalina's new life and the choices that led them to this point. Catalina, though seen through the protagonist's eyes, is portrayed with depth and empathy. Her decision to move on is not vilified but understood as a natural progression of life and love.
Francis's portrayal of Catalina is particularly noteworthy. She is not a one-dimensional character but a woman who embodies the complexities of love and loyalty. Her presence in the protagonist's life is both a source of pain and a catalyst for growth. The tension between what was and what could have been is palpable, creating a narrative that is as much about the past as it is about the present.
The novel's exploration of the theme of cheating is handled with sensitivity and realism. The trigger warning is a necessary inclusion, as the narrative delves into the moral ambiguities and emotional fallout of infidelity. Francis does not shy away from the difficult questions, instead presenting a balanced view that acknowledges the hurt while also exploring the reasons behind such actions. This approach allows for a more comprehensive understanding of the characters' motivations and the consequences of their choices.
In terms of style, Francis's writing is evocative and lyrical. Her prose captures the essence of longing and regret, drawing the reader into the protagonist's world with vivid imagery and emotional depth. The pacing is deliberate, allowing for moments of introspection that enhance the overall impact of the story. The dialogue is authentic and serves to deepen the reader's connection to the characters and their experiences.
Comparatively, It Should Have Been Me shares thematic similarities with works like Nicholas Sparks's The Notebook and Jojo Moyes's Me Before You. Like Sparks and Moyes, Francis delves into the intricacies of love and the choices that define our lives. However, Francis's narrative stands out for its focus on the aftermath of love lost and the possibility of redemption through self-awareness and acceptance.
Overall, It Should Have Been Me is a beautifully crafted novel that resonates with anyone who has ever grappled with the complexities of love and loss. Jacqueline Francis has created a story that is both intimate and universal, offering a poignant reminder of the enduring power of love and the resilience of the human spirit. For readers seeking a narrative that is both emotionally engaging and thought-provoking, this novel is a must-read.
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